A Letter to a Friend (anonymous for privacy)

Chnif,

In whatever you do, may your purse be filled with good fortune and many blessings. I too have seen and lived by the wretched state of humanity that fills our walks. Having been married before, and having been cut by the double edged sword of love, I finally just laid down my arms and floated, not seeking, not searching.

I once said that I would trust love only if the supreme being brought to me on platter, the perfect mate, and once though he delivered. It was not a tasty meal. This happened not once, but twice to me since my divorce, only to have the affair end as quickly and passionately as it started. I now take in my arms the lover called music. Don't get me wrong, I need as we all do. I state this to let you know that you are not alone. I am in Salt Lake City because of a call for assistance towards my family. I am bound here until the obligation ends. I dream of travel and other cities... you are lucky to have seen Europe. My plans include a visit to UK, specifically Newcastle on the Tyne and perhaps Spain. Born in Los Angeles and having lived in the largest city of each state I have lived in, I can only say that the compression of humanities' colors and types have seeped deeply into my soul and have formed an attitude that is laced with love and hate. I choose love, however difficult it may be. It is the music that keeps the choice alive.

Again, may your dreams be fulfilled and your disappointments lessened as you travel this long and sometimes lonely path.

Your friend,
Ernest Patrick Paiz

A Quick Stop by....

Stopped by, it's been a while! Wishing and needing to thank each of your for your support. It's a long and sometimes lonely road I walk on. I keep busy, I will return in the near future to update and ramble the way that I do...

In the meantime, take a little while to cruise to our Official Band Site www.buddhapie.com and... Enjoy the music!

OUTSOURCING OUR SELVES AWAY...

Outsourcing: Gone wild

I had a dream last night of things to come...
I saw Brahman bulls in the sky,
with round eyes which read not.
The bulls asked many questions
and floundered with the headsets they wore.
They came from the East....
It was a dream of things to come....
And wild elephant trailed behind them
the elephants spoke in tongues unknown
saying things like...
Okie dokie, yup and alrighty,
double zero this and triple zero that
And the moon shone red, pointing to the East
and it said...Hello, can you hear me? Hello, hello!

copyright epp/2009

Buddha Pie needs now to get PAID

We've paid our dues! Buddha Pie has played in the rain, in the hot, hot sun. We've played for food, for drinks, for money and for FREE. We've played in crowded rooms and empty bars...just for YOU! Spent our cash on gear instead of rent and teeth!Join as a FAN and VOTE (ONCE A DAY)

read more | digg story

Thank you...

Let me thank you all for the inspiration you have given me.

LYRICS: falling moons

I saw a new moon falling
it crashed into the sea
a million oceans filled with love
not a drop for me
pull from this whirlwind
that my life has been
I can kiss your golden hair
I'll find your secret sin

let me take the place, a man
a long forgotten boy
let me make you feel so good
make you cry with joy
know not I the rules my dear
they change with every season
falling moons and your changeling mind
do not follow reason.

I saw a million stars last night
reflections of your eyes
I heard the sound of teardrops
they filled your pool of sighs
then the sun sang a thousand songs
and lit the night away
and lit so clear before me
your rainbow colored gray
let me be like merlin
I'll find the magic way
I'll use a brush dipped in my love
I'll paint your grays away
I saw a new moon falling
it crashed into the sea
a million oceans filled with love
not a drop for me

copyright epp/2009

KARMA BANK: have you put your nickels in?

Adam - Man
Seth - Appointed
Enosh - Mortal
Kenan - Sorrow
Mahalalel - The blessed God
Jared - Shall come down
Enoch - Teaching
Methuselah - His death shall bring
Lamech - Despairing
Noah - Comfort and rest

INSTRUCTIONS: blog archives

So then, let me show you a little shortcut, that is, if you are interested. This blog has several sections I've devised.

Look for the headings in the BLOG ARCHIVES on the left side of this page, yeah, that's it...right there. You will find headings listed as LYRICS, DREAMS, COLLECTED VERSES, POETRY and others. See? Collected verses is a collection of unpublished until now works, which might end up a songs or part of anyway. Dreams are just that... I will explain in detail the significance of the dreams...you will like. Lyrics, well are just that, lyrics to my songs and so on and so on and so on.

Enjoy.

Buddha's Pie

At one time Shakyamuni Buddha went to a village to beg for food.
There he found two small boys named Virtue Victorious and Invincible innocently playing in the dirt. Since Shakyamuni possessed all the thirty-two outstanding physical features characteristic of a Buddha, he must have seemed awfully majestic and dignified.

Seeing the Buddha approach, Virtue Victorious wanted to make him an offering. Hurriedly he made a mud pie and placed it in Shakyamuni’s begging bowl. Invincible looked on with his palms joined in reverence. As the result of making this offering, Virtue Victorious was later reborn as King Ashoka and Invincible as his wife.

(Treasures of the Heart, pp. 74–78)

LYRICS: cheap perfume

Standing in the kitchen
Waiting at the window
Standing…waiting just for you
Waiting just for you

Will you turn the key and walk on in?
Your cigarette a danglin’
Will you fill the air with your cheap perfume?
With your cheap perfume

Well I can’t tell night from day
Ever since you’ve gone away
Inside out and upside down I am
Up side down I am

The hours…they keep flyin’ by
I never really learned to cry
I’ll just have to turn and say goodbye
Turn and say goodbye.

Well…I’m standing at the window
Waiting in the kitchen
Standing…waiting just for you
Waiting just for you

The hours…they keep flyin’ by
I never really learned to cry
I’ll just have to turn and say goodbye
Turn and say goodbye…goodbye

epaiz © 2000

Another pixel collage, arranged for you. Enjoy.

DREAMS: one (continued)

January 20, 2008
There are dreams that came to me...

The first was a nightmare, repeated many times on the reel that was my sleeping mind.

I will tell you that I was fighting for my, our lives. It started as I entered a barn. Dark was the inside, matted with strewn yellow hay. The slats that made the walls were puckered with holes that let sunlight point it's way in light arrows that landed and speared the floor. The walls, gray and aged wood with every knot loosed.

I walked across the dimly lit barn to find myself standing in front of a staircase. I walked up, slowly. There was a sense of evil in the dream that grew stronger with each step upward. I knew who would be at the top of the staircase waiting.

In Christianity, Satan is considered the being most infested with evil in all of creation. He is the personification of all evil, Louis Cypher. The sense of evil was now beating against me, all I could do was want to rid myself of the feeling. To destroy the man, devil, evil that stood at the top of the stairs waiting for me. They say you can't look God or the Devil in the eye...it must be true. As much as I strained to see into the eyes, the face of the evil in front of me, I could not. I stretched my neck, and pulled my eyes upward only to have them see only to the neck of the demon standing before me.

Strangely, he was not grotesque in form, but rather keenly dressed and in suit of modern day, tailored and neat. I wanted to destroy, to kill, to rid myself, the world and my dream of this entity that embodied and was the source of the evil I felt around me, a heavy, dark and ugly feeling of doom and destruction. Destroyer of souls and lives, keeper of pain, despair, chaos and sadness, I must rid you from my life.

I was sixteen years old at the time this dream came to me. It was a repeated dream that occurred almost nightly for a span of several months. Frame by frame it spun exactly as before. I never purchased a ticket for the viewing, it was mine for free.

~ to be continued

January 28, late evening

I found myself with a weapon in my hand. It was a small hatchet. I need to destroy what was in front of me, perhaps what was inside me, I don't know... even at this early age I was already infused with a crazy life of drugs and abuse. Perhaps this dream represented my need to change, to rid myself of the demon that held me addicted to the lifestyle that was the start of a long slow suicide attempt.

This dream as I've stated above was repeated nightmare and began around the age of 17 yrs or so. With a new means of destroying the evil I raised and swung at the demon. My efforts proved fruitless, as in the script that is written in all nightmares, all my motions were slow. I could not swing with full force to strike the beast, it was as if an invisible arm was holding me from swinging the hatchet with the force needed to strike damage.

I turned to the left and then to the right, I could only see what was in front of me...the same image of evil mocking me. As hard as I tried I could not swing, I could not kill the beast. I ran. I turned to the barn door descended the staircase from the loft and ran.

~ to be continued

Ernest Patrick Paiz

Avenues Street Fair 2007 ~ Cheap Perfume

Ahh, California

LYRICS: slice

slice






here I sit, another day
I'm goin' round again
music speaks to me of love
it's my only friend
sometimes I know
it makes me cry
but not as bad as you
these tears within will learn to fly
you turn my red to blue.

the fool in me,
a rhythm section
dancing on the clock
we'll play for you
the sounds of Buddha
you'll twist
you'll turn
you'll rock!

Don't be alarmed
the answers near,
so drink and dance
and hold your own
the seams about to tear

we'll place the sounds
inside your head
this slice of pie's
what you'll be fed

the fool in me,
a rhythm section
dancing on the clock
we'll play for you
the sounds of Buddha
you'll twist
you'll turn
you'll rock!

so here I sit another
I'm going round again
I found the truth
the only way
it's my only friend

the fool in me,
a rhythm section
dancing on the clock
we'll play for you
the sounds of Buddha
you'll twist
you'll turn
you'll rock!

copyright epp/2009

POETRY: what do you hear?

February 26, 2007
Salt Lake City, Utah








I WONDER IF WE'VE ALL GONE BLIND.
I WONDER FOR US ALL
IF YOU TAKE MINE, THEN I'LL TAKE YOURS
AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AFTERALL

WE HAVE BECOME A WORLD
STEEPED IN A BLACKENED LIGHT
THAT HIDES THE TRUTH
FROM THOSE WITH EARS
AND STEALS THE SOUL
OF OUR FATHER'S YEARS.

WILL WE SEE THE TRUTH
WHEN IT STANDS BEFORE US...
THROWING STONES AT GOLIATH
UNTIL THE GIANT'S FALL?
OR DO WE STAND, EYELESS
AND EARLESS TO OUR SPIRIT'S CALL

WHAT IS IT YOU HEAR, MY DEAR
WHEN YOUR TEARDROPS HIT THE GROUND?

THE SOUND OF BOMB BLASTS IN A DISTANT LAND?
THE CRACK OF OLIVE TREE BURNING?
THE SEPERATION OF HEART FROM HAND?
THE HISS OF HATE AT EVERY TURNING?

WHAT DO YOU SEE WITH ONE EYE CLOSED?
A WHOLE LIE AS TRUTH, IMPOSED?
DO YOU CALL UPON YOURSELF?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
THAT BRICK BY BRICK, BONE BY BONE
WE MUST FIX THIS SHATTERED STAND?

LET US SHORE UPON OURSELVES
TO UNDO WHAT HAS BEEN DONE.
LET US HEAL THIS BROKEN WORLD,
LET US LIVE AS ONE.
LET US MEND THIS SHATTERED DREAM.
LET US DO IT ALL TOGETHER, UNTIL...

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HEAR, MY DEAR
WHEN YOUR TEARDROPS HIT THE GROUND?

Copyright epp/2007

LYRICS: to the sun

to the sun
Sunday night, 2/1/09
Salt Lake City

You came to me, you said goodbye
it's not my lucky day
the angels turn they start to cry
there's pain in all you say

The sky is red, the clouds are blue
the raindrops start to fall
they land in puddles so filled with you
I cannot see below

I call to you, I look around
I cannot sleep at night
the answer came to sing to you
make this pain alright

Come on baby take me by your side
take me on this lonely ride
teach me things I need to know
you and I, let us go to the sun

The morning came, I looked around
it's pretty much the same
the loneliness that you have found
is calling out your name

If you have doubts, better change your mind
the end is coming soon
free your heart and clear your mind
your running out of room

Come on baby take me by your side
take me on this lonely ride
teach me things I need to know
you and I, let us go to the sun

To the sun, to the sun, to the sun

Copyright epp/2009

DREAMS: ongoing

Remember, there are dreams that are being told...
Look for the heading DREAMS and help me understand.

Ernest

COLLECTED VERSES: tell me

tell me
2.26.02 2:36 am
sleepless




Sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?
a poet writing love songs, from the bottom of the sea?
a singer singing sadly, a song of you and me?
will you sing of love gone mad, and cry the night away?
or will you tell of love you had one long forgotten day?
will you pen a poem of your love that never dies?
or will you whisper close to me and stir my pool of sighs?
will you dance to music and place away your fears?
or will you play a melody that moves my soul to tears?
sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?
will you dance to music that flows like honey from the jar?
and fills the air with sweetness like the sweetness that you are
or will you build a castle and lock yourself inside?
then cloak your heart in loneliness close your eyes and hide?
so sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?

copyright epp/2009

LYRICS: song list

Record of lyrics
posted to this site.



1. an angel's kiss
2. your secret
3. to the sun
4. slice
6. cheap perfume

LYRICS: your secret

your secret
2.24.02



As long as you can keep it, as far as you can go
I will be your secret, no one needs to know
you came out smiling, your grin of grins
and all the boys are crying, vying for your sins.
let’s kill some time together, let’s take it all the way
not think about tomorrow, forget about today
we'lll sail up to the icy moon, on a sea of stars
and climb a candy mountain, kiss and call it ours
let’s write our names forever, on our chalkboard souls
and give to each a promise, our secrets won’t be told
as long as you can keep it, as far as you can go
I will be your secret, no one needs to know

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: introduction

Hi again, Let me introduce another part of this BLOG. I am still thinking of a name for it.

I think I will call it COLLECTED VERSES , how's that for name? I guess you should know what it is about.


COLLECTED VERSES will contain the poems written in New York City by yours truly, as a matter of fact, this is the source of my songs. It all starts here...or near here anyway, so get ready for COLLECTED VERSES.

Look for the title in the Blog and it will contain my rambling for your reading enjoyment. The next post will contain the first of many.

Enjoy
Ernest Patrick Paiz

COLLECTED VERSES: when i pour

When I pour
01.28.02 NYC

When I pour my coffee
I pour a cup for two.
and then I smile at no one
pretending it was you.



copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: I'm not seen

i'm not seen
11.28.02 Brooklyn, NY

I'm not seen anymore
I'm like a ghost to you
we laughed and counted out the couples
I can't forget the last time
I made the most of you
I wish I could be like you
and just forget the last time



copyright epp/2009

INTERMISSION: the order of things

So, let's take a break and try to understand what's going on here. I don't know why I write, I just do. I recently discovered a batch of poems and verses that I wrote in Williamsburg, Brookly NY from about the turn of the new millenium, 2000. They will be posted for posterity and enjoyment, a purging of the soul. Maintenance of the sanity that pulls from within. It seems a thin rope at times.

There is a reason the I write. That reason is to release, to reveal and to maintain. You figure out what I am sayin, I can't explain. Make your own opinions, they are as good as any.

There is a reason I play. It is simple. That is what this BLOG is about. In time the sense of order will come. It is my life, my work and my everything. If you like it, or if you don't like it doesn't really matter in the whole scheme, no? I just need to do it. I like things in order when it comes to my art. Call me anal, maybe I am. Not too much, though. Anyway the order you see in the writings posted are eventually going to assemble themselves to develop a story and timeline.

It will take time. In the meanwhile, just know and follow the TITLES of each blog posting, as they will be categorized: LYRICS, DREAMS, VERSES, etc.

As time passes and memories become digital ink marks on this page, you will eventually see order. I ask you to bear with me, to understand, to enjoy. As time passes new and newer postings will flower. Another seed for us all. Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Ernest Patrick Paiz
Buddha Pie

JUKEBOX: music for you, baby

COLLECTED VERSES: first quarter moon

FIRST QUARTER MOON (blue you)
12.07.01...1:39 am
Greenpoint, Brooklyn NY



I saw you today. you in your red coat, hair in twin bobs, head down
you looked like mama’s little baby on your early morning walk
all alone and frightenend
you said, mama walk beside me, please don’t let me down
mama will they hurt me? can I turn it around?
please don’t let me down.

I saw you today. your mama walked beside you
not the time to say hello....I kissed you with my eyes
and she said ..................the silence was so loud
if today were yesterday, I know what you would do
you’d take this time, hold it high
and turn it ‘round, hold it dear to you

I saw you today. I prayed and smiled and cried
you and your black jeans and tennis shoe, untied
it was sunny, a lonely autumn morn, you didn’t see me see you
you could of heard me whisper from that place that I was in
not the time to say hello, I just held you from within, so deep within

I saw you today, your rainbow colored gray.

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: cloudy within

cloudy within
Brooklyn, NY
sunny outside, cloudy within



If you could see me now, lying in my bed
a universe of you whirling in my head
curled up in a little ball, I’ve seemed to have lost my will
to rediscover what once was me, there’s nothing left to feel

The sun shines outside my window, but it’s storming deep inside
the moon beams on my pillow, I’ve no place to hide.
where are you, I don’t know, a tempest reels inside
and so I pull the covers low and close my eyes to hide

If you could seem me now...lying in my bed
a universe of you whirling in my head

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: butterflies

butterflies
3/30/02 Saturday
Brooklyn, NY



There are times when I see butterflies
they land so close to me
colored purple, green and blue
so beautiful and free

In this world there’s just too much
for this heart to contain
but of you, your smile and purple wings
the memory will remain

I won’t move, won’t speak a word
I just want to feel
the beauty that you add
your spirit that is real

Please understand, I realize
you’ll spread your wings and flee
but understand and realize
the joy you’ve brought to me

I live my life, you live yours
you crossed my path and smiled
and left with me an image sweet
so young and free and wild

There are times when I see butterflies
colored purple, green and blue
and they land so close to me
reminding me of you

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: breaktime

breaktime
12.20.01 8:16 cold and wet...
New York City



It’s ten o’clock
break’s a minute yet
finally in the hallway
I light my cigarette

It only takes a while
just a puff or two
when all the world stops beating
and I think of only you

I smile when I feel you closer
and cry....you’re slipping through
still the world stops beating
and I think of only you

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: and now you're back

and now you’re back
03.24.02 Sunday...once again
Brooklyn, New York


I made believe you loved me,
I'm a victim of my dreams
I’m out of breath, I’m out of you,
and now you’re back it seems

My heart’s so sad, a weeping willow
I danced the fool for you
I can’t sleep, can’t find my pillow...
I dreamed that we were through

So now this day I’m on the run,
I need to flee from you
to get myself together,
you’ve broken me in two.

You love to hate the way I love you
you hate to love the way I do
I learned tonight you never loved me
the way that I love you

I can’t turn your tears from water into wine
it’s driving me insane
nor will I cry out loud my dear
to let you know my pain

I should of had some self control
shouldn’t want you like I do
I’ve come undone without your soul
just need to be of you

I made believe you loved me
a victim of my dreams
I’m out of breath, I’m out of you
and now you’re back, it seems

(...tell me what to do)

copyright epp/2009