DREAMS: ongoing

Remember, there are dreams that are being told...
Look for the heading DREAMS and help me understand.

Ernest

COLLECTED VERSES: tell me

tell me
2.26.02 2:36 am
sleepless




Sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?
a poet writing love songs, from the bottom of the sea?
a singer singing sadly, a song of you and me?
will you sing of love gone mad, and cry the night away?
or will you tell of love you had one long forgotten day?
will you pen a poem of your love that never dies?
or will you whisper close to me and stir my pool of sighs?
will you dance to music and place away your fears?
or will you play a melody that moves my soul to tears?
sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?
will you dance to music that flows like honey from the jar?
and fills the air with sweetness like the sweetness that you are
or will you build a castle and lock yourself inside?
then cloak your heart in loneliness close your eyes and hide?
so sing it now and sing it clear, tell me from within
who and what you want to be, what’s your secret sin?

copyright epp/2009

LYRICS: song list

Record of lyrics
posted to this site.



1. an angel's kiss
2. your secret
3. to the sun
4. slice
6. cheap perfume

LYRICS: your secret

your secret
2.24.02



As long as you can keep it, as far as you can go
I will be your secret, no one needs to know
you came out smiling, your grin of grins
and all the boys are crying, vying for your sins.
let’s kill some time together, let’s take it all the way
not think about tomorrow, forget about today
we'lll sail up to the icy moon, on a sea of stars
and climb a candy mountain, kiss and call it ours
let’s write our names forever, on our chalkboard souls
and give to each a promise, our secrets won’t be told
as long as you can keep it, as far as you can go
I will be your secret, no one needs to know

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: introduction

Hi again, Let me introduce another part of this BLOG. I am still thinking of a name for it.

I think I will call it COLLECTED VERSES , how's that for name? I guess you should know what it is about.


COLLECTED VERSES will contain the poems written in New York City by yours truly, as a matter of fact, this is the source of my songs. It all starts here...or near here anyway, so get ready for COLLECTED VERSES.

Look for the title in the Blog and it will contain my rambling for your reading enjoyment. The next post will contain the first of many.

Enjoy
Ernest Patrick Paiz

COLLECTED VERSES: when i pour

When I pour
01.28.02 NYC

When I pour my coffee
I pour a cup for two.
and then I smile at no one
pretending it was you.



copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: I'm not seen

i'm not seen
11.28.02 Brooklyn, NY

I'm not seen anymore
I'm like a ghost to you
we laughed and counted out the couples
I can't forget the last time
I made the most of you
I wish I could be like you
and just forget the last time



copyright epp/2009

INTERMISSION: the order of things

So, let's take a break and try to understand what's going on here. I don't know why I write, I just do. I recently discovered a batch of poems and verses that I wrote in Williamsburg, Brookly NY from about the turn of the new millenium, 2000. They will be posted for posterity and enjoyment, a purging of the soul. Maintenance of the sanity that pulls from within. It seems a thin rope at times.

There is a reason the I write. That reason is to release, to reveal and to maintain. You figure out what I am sayin, I can't explain. Make your own opinions, they are as good as any.

There is a reason I play. It is simple. That is what this BLOG is about. In time the sense of order will come. It is my life, my work and my everything. If you like it, or if you don't like it doesn't really matter in the whole scheme, no? I just need to do it. I like things in order when it comes to my art. Call me anal, maybe I am. Not too much, though. Anyway the order you see in the writings posted are eventually going to assemble themselves to develop a story and timeline.

It will take time. In the meanwhile, just know and follow the TITLES of each blog posting, as they will be categorized: LYRICS, DREAMS, VERSES, etc.

As time passes and memories become digital ink marks on this page, you will eventually see order. I ask you to bear with me, to understand, to enjoy. As time passes new and newer postings will flower. Another seed for us all. Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Ernest Patrick Paiz
Buddha Pie

JUKEBOX: music for you, baby

COLLECTED VERSES: first quarter moon

FIRST QUARTER MOON (blue you)
12.07.01...1:39 am
Greenpoint, Brooklyn NY



I saw you today. you in your red coat, hair in twin bobs, head down
you looked like mama’s little baby on your early morning walk
all alone and frightenend
you said, mama walk beside me, please don’t let me down
mama will they hurt me? can I turn it around?
please don’t let me down.

I saw you today. your mama walked beside you
not the time to say hello....I kissed you with my eyes
and she said ..................the silence was so loud
if today were yesterday, I know what you would do
you’d take this time, hold it high
and turn it ‘round, hold it dear to you

I saw you today. I prayed and smiled and cried
you and your black jeans and tennis shoe, untied
it was sunny, a lonely autumn morn, you didn’t see me see you
you could of heard me whisper from that place that I was in
not the time to say hello, I just held you from within, so deep within

I saw you today, your rainbow colored gray.

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: cloudy within

cloudy within
Brooklyn, NY
sunny outside, cloudy within



If you could see me now, lying in my bed
a universe of you whirling in my head
curled up in a little ball, I’ve seemed to have lost my will
to rediscover what once was me, there’s nothing left to feel

The sun shines outside my window, but it’s storming deep inside
the moon beams on my pillow, I’ve no place to hide.
where are you, I don’t know, a tempest reels inside
and so I pull the covers low and close my eyes to hide

If you could seem me now...lying in my bed
a universe of you whirling in my head

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: butterflies

butterflies
3/30/02 Saturday
Brooklyn, NY



There are times when I see butterflies
they land so close to me
colored purple, green and blue
so beautiful and free

In this world there’s just too much
for this heart to contain
but of you, your smile and purple wings
the memory will remain

I won’t move, won’t speak a word
I just want to feel
the beauty that you add
your spirit that is real

Please understand, I realize
you’ll spread your wings and flee
but understand and realize
the joy you’ve brought to me

I live my life, you live yours
you crossed my path and smiled
and left with me an image sweet
so young and free and wild

There are times when I see butterflies
colored purple, green and blue
and they land so close to me
reminding me of you

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: breaktime

breaktime
12.20.01 8:16 cold and wet...
New York City



It’s ten o’clock
break’s a minute yet
finally in the hallway
I light my cigarette

It only takes a while
just a puff or two
when all the world stops beating
and I think of only you

I smile when I feel you closer
and cry....you’re slipping through
still the world stops beating
and I think of only you

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: and now you're back

and now you’re back
03.24.02 Sunday...once again
Brooklyn, New York


I made believe you loved me,
I'm a victim of my dreams
I’m out of breath, I’m out of you,
and now you’re back it seems

My heart’s so sad, a weeping willow
I danced the fool for you
I can’t sleep, can’t find my pillow...
I dreamed that we were through

So now this day I’m on the run,
I need to flee from you
to get myself together,
you’ve broken me in two.

You love to hate the way I love you
you hate to love the way I do
I learned tonight you never loved me
the way that I love you

I can’t turn your tears from water into wine
it’s driving me insane
nor will I cry out loud my dear
to let you know my pain

I should of had some self control
shouldn’t want you like I do
I’ve come undone without your soul
just need to be of you

I made believe you loved me
a victim of my dreams
I’m out of breath, I’m out of you
and now you’re back, it seems

(...tell me what to do)

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: all your madness

all your madness
February 9, 2002
Brooklyn, NY




I’d rather be with all your madness...
Than alone with all this sadness.

and I don’t care...if you speak
to spirits in the air...
or if you answer questions
asked by no one there.

I’d rather be with all your madness..
than alone with all this sadness.

I’ll write you letters...
with clouds across the sky.
And I will scream your name..
until I hear you sigh.
I’ll breath in your soul...
make it part of mine.
And I will squeeze you hard...
until I see a sign...still...

I’d rather be with all your madness....
than alone with all this sadness.

copyright epp/2009

COLLECTED VERSES: scratch pad archives

busy girl
summertime...2001 SL

You're such a girl...such a busy girl
It's like Voo Doo what you do so well
You're such a girl...such a busy girl
Take a look at me...I can't break the spell

credits 11.22.01
(worktime thinker)

Please just let me...sit through the credits
I want to see...who wrote this play
all this love... and happy people.....
never mind...
I'm not in it anyway.

drive away
12.03.01

I like to walk a two way street...one where’s room for two
I’m headed for collision...a straight on crash with you.
I like to see your “ traffic” coming...
I’ll always look both ways
and most times now the road’s not clear
I cut right through the haze

So drive away, far away...don’t ever look behind
Take it to the limit...as far as you can go
and never cross the yellow line unless you want to know

but sometimes baby, I am blinded, blinded by your light...
and I just keep on turning left... when I should be going right.
my first impression was a cloudy view ....in time the fog has blown away
and now I see you clearly....a crying angel...for you a better day.
Lord knows I’ve tried.... tried to catch your quiet tears
but drop by drop they slipped on down.... and pooled around your fears.

So drive away, far away...don’t ever look behind
Take it to the limit...as far as you can go
and never cross the yellow line unless you want to know

EVERY MOMENT SPINNING (12.03.01)

... and if I told you I’m afraid, would you hold me till I’m ready?
If I stumbled on the walk, would you catch me, hold me steady?
...and if I was blind, I couldn’t see, would you lead me with your love?

And the times when I’m without you
I feel every moment spinning, ...like water raging to the drain
pull me up.....I’m drowning.

and when you tell me of your pain, would you look into my eyes?
and if I said I needed you would you press me to your thighs?
If I was dumb, I could not speak, would you lead me with your love?

And the times when I’m without you
I feel every moment spinning, ...a painted horsedrawn carousel
hold me tight....I’m falling

In my mind and everywhere.........I know there’s another world
please don’t make me weep again..............of where i’ve been before
...and if I breath in all your madness? Would you breathe in my love?

and the times when I’m without you...I feel every moment spinning
-------------------------------------
EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT
(one late november night)
November 24, 2001

I dreamed we walked
to nowhere in particular
words were not exchanged...we walked in silence.
I knew you loved me..
you leaned your head into my shoulder
your arm around my waist.
I was happy by the shore.....everything was perfect

glitter
03.30.02

there’s glitter on the pillows...burn marks on the floor
the smell of cloves in billows...as you slowly close the door
lately i’ve been swimming ...in a lifetime’s pool of tears
not crying for the way... i spent my foolish years
i threw my cards into the hat...held tightly to the queen
and found the joker grinning...at the silly fool i’ve been
when i danced with you...i danced alone...in a sea of lonely faces
and i sang the sweet low melody...of long deserted places
how can we be over...when we never even started
before the time that we could join... you have since departed
you poured water...you laughed...and called it wine
and i with you...closed my eyes...and dreamed to make you mine
still...there’s glitter on the table...burn marks on the floor
the smell of cloves still able...as you slowly close the door
-----------------
guilty 02.24.02

I’ve been convicted...guilty of giving you
the very part of me....that i did not mean to
i didn’t plan it out...didn’t take the time
to pick the lock that holds your heart...steal it ...make it mine
and so the years between us... are keeping me in jail
and you so young and lovely...hold the ticket to my bail...
won’t you set me free.
---
I am your toaster 12.03.01

I am your toaster, get me hot. I am your oven, turn me on.
your golden hair, your quiet stare...

you turn me on.

We started so fast, I could not believe myself
I thought we had each other ..... you placed me on the shelf

I am your toaster, get me hot. I am your oven.....turn me on.
your golden hair, your quiet stare...

you turn me on.
---------------------------------
i push play
12.31.01 (last full moon)

i push play to hear your voice... i do it all the time..
it’s just a message on my telephone...it doesn’t even rhyme...
i push play when i feel alone...when i call you ...and you’re not home.
you say... leave your name and leave your number...i’ll return your call...
but you never do...you never do...another message on the wall.
i push play and listen..i can’t walk away
waitin’ in the darkness...twenty times a day.
i should have run away...a long, long time ago
but i have the need to stay...i can’t let you go.
so i push play to hear your voice... i do it all the time..
speak to me of love....my love.
------------------
i thought of you
12.09.01 10:48pm

i thought of you this timeless day...and what we could discover
ninety three purple moons...filled the starry skies
and sandstone castles turned to dust before our very eyes
i thought of you this timeless day...
the oceans spilled into a thimble...and seas turned boiling hot
and all the wisdom of all the kings...held for ransom, held for not
i thought of you this timeless day...and what we could discover
i thought of you this timeless day...
of you to be my other
--------------------------------------
i want my sundays back
12.09.01... cold gray sunday

We used to spend our sundays together
passing windows in the city... laughing on our backs
writing notes on pizza plates.. thumbing through the comic racks
(...and stealing pasta when they weren’t looking)
sometimes you’d punch me and tell me that you hate me...
you’d meet me at the station...the one near union square
trading caps and drinking beers..always more than one
then the sundays came and went...and suddenly you’re not there
I want my sundays back
----------------------------------------------
"I WAS SO CLOSE TO YOU"
11.27.01....Tuesday, overcast (took the day off) Am, Dm,...C, Bm

I was so close to you...so close to you.
I let you get away....what can I do?

I feel like crying.....crying.....forever (4 times)

I held you close to me...so close to me
and now you're far away...to far to see.

The pain in my heart....the tear in my eye....for you (4 times)

and now I stand alone....where are you?
I'm going home....where are you?
-------------------------------
ill obsession 02.2002

i’ve been struck by ill obsession
i want back..my soul possession
and i know by your description
There’s just to much in me
to waste it all on you
i’ve made... your young acquaintance
you’ve made... it very clear
so i’m getting ready now
to get away from here.
your razor wire cuts me deep
won’t let me breathe...let me sleep
i’ve been struck by ill obsession
i want back...my soul possession
-------------------------
it’s cold in here
02.10.00...blue rain...cold in and out

It’s dark in here...cold, dark and deep....open up your heart gate...let me out.

to such extremes, you’ve gone...to keep me locked inside
I’ve tried all to make escape...all that ‘s new is still aside

It’s dark in here...cold, dark and deep...open up your heart gate...let me out.

it’s been a long time...since I’ve played this game...I just don’t know the rules
and so i find you placed me down...into your room of fools

i build my dreams...a shattered pile of tries...they slowly fall away
then i dig...a spade of hope...I plow the coming day

t’s dark in here...cold, dark and deep...open up your heart gate...let me out.
-----------------------------
MIDNIGHT HOUR 11.28.01

He just sits there staring..so hard he tries to feel.
Of all the worlds he's been to...this one seems so real.
deep in his secret heart..where no one else has been,
the echo of his past comes screaming...are you coming in?
and he's your broken winged angel...take all the pieces you need
let him fold his love around you...for on your pain he'll feed.
and he's running from tomorrow...heading to the edge
Black eyed, blue and crying ....he feels your loveless wedge
He's running from tomorrow...spinning to the brink
gently reach out, touch him....please don’t let him sink.
(if you don't give...he'll steal...your heart to heal his wounds)
---------------------------------
murder love
12.09.01 8:28pm

i know you can do it...you’ve done it all before
seen a hundred children...walkin’ out the door
come on baby, i know you can...you can do it all again
you can murder love...dead dove...you can kill a friend.
take a hundred lovers...walk ‘em through the line”.
take ‘em in , turn ‘em out.....then you say..

”bitch, don’t spill my wine”.
-----------------
my house is burning
12.31.01 2:07am

i stand atop my house....and it’s burning
but....i can’t save the world
i see you crying...whispers to your shadow
but... i can’t save the world.

if i could...i’d save your tears...down like autumn rain
and then i’d place them to my lips and drink away your pain.
i stand atop my house....and it’s burning
and i feel... within your soul...it’s yearning
but ...i can’t save the world

you tried to push me far from you...dear you have succeeded
i gave you all of me i could... you took what you needed
i stand atop my house....oh it’s burning
and i feel... within my soul...it’s yearning
but...i can’t save the world

suddenly i’m spinning...and the walls to dust again
our confusion’s two foggy dreams...can’t they be the same?
i’ve been here before...i see you crying
but....i can’t save the world
my house is burning...our souls yearning
but... i can’t save the world
-----------
PORK CHOPS AND POTATO
(november’s meal)

I’ll take pork chops and potato...lettuce and tomato
and then a piece of pie...
and when I do, it’s up to you to look me in the eye......
all I want ... you can’t give me
to bad for me.....I’m sad...
...and tell me that you don’t love me.
I’ll take it black and sweet
---------------------------
quit 02.24.02

quit...you’re driving me insane
split...you’ve done that to my brain
one side wants to leave you...the other wants to stay
i don’t know the magic...that will let me have my way
i’ve gone through all the books....looked closely at my heart
be still the space between us...once again i’ll start
in this lonely city...a million lonely eyes
but for me there’s only yours..and for you a million tries
do you love me...do you really care
or do you need me...when no one else is there
so i say quit...and yes, i’ve split...i really can’t decide
i’ll just go on ...and act the way i do..
i yearn the day you’ll notice....i’m always by your side...always there for you....

(i wouldn’t have it any other way.)
------------------
reflections 12.07.01 (at work)

are those the stars in the sky...or are they reflections of your tears?
do I hear doves crying in the trees....or just the echo of your fears?
i see children smiling, laughing....or did I walk in on your dream?
green sea waves crashing hard against the wall
...or just the rush of forgotten hearts
...bursting at the seam?
----------------------
SO FAR FROM YOU 11/25/01

you don't have time to worry about a broken heart
....you don't need to worry
the leaves, silver and gray hang slanted on the trees
the sky, a pale and cloudless backdrop.
venetians, slit a purple morning...
5:45am ...I wish you were here to drink coffee with me
you, sweet child, are the one that I would love forever.
you have fed me a morsels and now I starve for more.
i am involved with you. How long can it be like this?
i want to take the next step Open your soul for me to kiss.
when I met you.....I lost my balance, my sense of cool
now I need ...to fall so far from you....
chance this to another day...i need to fall so far from you.
-----------------------
the edge
02.02

rip me open...for all to see.
to bare to you... inside of me
tear me apart...I’ll give you more.
throw me down...the edge
a place I’ve been before.
my inside’s out...I’ve given you
the very being in me.
spread my ribs....and cut my heart
wih your scalpel made of lies.
then kiss me on my open lips
one kiss... just one...then goodbye.
-----------------
the message in your eyes
12.08.01...7:33pm

I can’t tell by the way you walk....
I can’t hear you when you talk...
but I can read
the message in your eyes.
I can’t feel when you tell me to...
I don’t always feel the way you do
but I can read
the message in your eyes
I can’t say what’s deep inside..
nor can I tell if you’ve just lied.
all I can do..........
is walk away
...from the message in your eyes
-----------------------
walls
jan/feb 2001....Pete’s candy store

and so you’re feeling sorry
sorry for yourself
there’s no need to
place me on the shelf
you say that know one loves you
you’re the only one who cares
put two and two together
read the writing on the walls
they will tell you that i love
that i really care
they’ll whisper all my dreams
then fling them in the air
all you have to do is listen
close your eyes and know
that someone loves you
...the walls will tell no lies.
------------
were i king
12.09.01 5:45pm

were i king....you should swing... so lightly from the gallows
guitly as charged.... in the first degree...for the negligence of one’s heart.
but i’m not king...so you shant swing...let me be the fellow
who says..come my love...let’s begin again...another chance from start
-----------------------------------------
what if?...12.12.01 .2:29am

what if there were three moons that played hostess to the night?
and one hundred suns floated in the sky...on strings...like kites?
and all the stars... twinkled from the bottom of the sea?
and i woke up this morning...and you were next to me....?
what if all the mountains turned to water...
and the water pooled to seas?
and all the rivers held no direction...?
flowing where they please?
and all the little champagne bubbles suddenly were set free?
and i woke up this morning...and you were next to me?
i could take if up was down... and i could swim in air
if when i woke up...
this morning....
you were really there
-----------------------
when i bleed
12.09.01 10:34pm

when i bleed...i bleed you
when i breathe...i breathe you.
when i see...i see you
when i want...i taste you
you beat me with your silence
i die...because of you
when i come back...i’ll be king
you’ll fly against the wind
swinging freely from your gallows...
singing sweetly...” take my sin”
and so i’ll bleed you...breathe you... be you
and you’ll beat me with your silence.
-----------------------
when you’re gone 02.24.02

and when you are gone....the feelings stay
i try not to remember...to let them fade away
still they’re stronger ...so much stronger than i
it’s just there’s so much love for you ...it will never die.
is it so hard...so hard to understand...
.i wish you were my woman ...i wish i were your man
it hurts to love you like i do...you seem to see straight through me
i just need to be inside you...you surrounding me
i don’t care who knows...or if they disapprove
all i know...my world’s unraveled...with every breath you soothe
but when you’re gone...the feelings stay
i try not to remember...but you won’t go away
in my heart...you’ll never fade away
never fade away
------------------------
where is your love for me?
(11.22.01)

your love's a ball and chain to me, I'll never be the same
practically insane, you're almost gone again.
I'd walk forever to break these rusty chains
that squeeze, the bitter love coursing through your veins.

It hurts too much... to understand your frantic lunacy
I love you and your loneliness...where is your love for me?
did you hide it far away...in your secret velvet box?
or did you hide it far... break the key into the lock?

I'm on the edge looking down, outside looking at you
But you don't know what you're looking for, I'm like a ghost to you
Tell me what I have to say, scream to me the things to do
hold for me your secret thoughts and write them on my wall.

I can't believe I'm so far from you, I'm choking on my sighs
I'm calling on you to say goodbye, while looking through your eyes.
Can you take me to the place where I'll never hurt again?
Can you look me in the face and tell me it's not the end?

I while away...while I wait...to hear you say I love you.
-------------------------------
you
first quarter 2001

you... with your quiet brown eyes
don’t ever feel neglected
you... and your quiet ways...
don’t ever feel alone

you ...who are somebody special...
you...who are in my life
you...I love you.

where is the light that shines the path
into your heart?
--------------------------------------
you reached up

You reached up to me...last night on the platform
the sky...
I ‘ve never seen...
a purple so serene
a moon of ice...
stars of glass...
and velvet blue between
you reached up to me last night on the platform...
and you kissed me
------------------------------------------

Play List ~ Closer Still

I told you I would put the play list on this page. The songs listed are in order of performance at a LIVE CD recording at 5 Monkeys. To the left is the poster. It was our last show of 2008.

Just for you, baby.

1.An Angel's Kiss 2.Piper's Blues 3.Behind Closed Doors 4.A Pumpkin Room 5.Slice 6.Like the Others 7.Like a Drug 8.Falling Moons 9.Highway (of your love) 10.Cheap Perfume

See you when I get back

Ernest Patrick Paiz
wwwbuddhapie.com

LYRICS: An Angel's Kiss

There's a black bird on my windowsill
a blood moon hanging high
a cloud that's upside down, my love
a raindrop in my eye

Twelve tulips in a velvet box
a windmill spinning round
you're so far away from me
this morning, up was down.

I pray this void
will stop just so
lest I fade away
there's a hole
so wide, in my life
and it's larger everyday.

Icy rings spin 'round the sun
colored black with fire
the gypsy said that I'm the one
to fill your desire

You speak of cards and fortune tellers
the future that they read
the nearness of you so far away
has now become my greed

I pray this void
will stop just so
lest I fade away
there's a hole
so wide, in my life
and it's larger everyday.

Kamikaze raindrops
beat steady with my heart
and sing a song that reads to me
let's never be apart

When the moon is full again
so round, white above
an angel's kiss will tell you dear
it's you, my love, I love

I pray this void
will stop just so
lest I fade away
there's a hole
so wide, in my life
and it's larger everyday.


copyright 2008 epp

UNTOLD STORIES TOLD...

Please know these thoughts to be in random order. This is a writing in progress. The time line will align itself as the writings continue. Posts will be edited as work progresses, so stay tuned and enjoy the backlogs. It will make sense in the end. After all, life always comes full circle, no?

In March, 2004 I moved back to Salt Lake City. Called to help, the need to cut ties and return was immediate. An ailing father and elderly mother needed assistance that was mine to give. I could not say no. I had lived the better part of half my life in Brooklyn, NY. Strong ties were made and many memories will remain with me. Memories that make me smile. Memories that make me cry and memories that horrify me.

Thinking back, I remember the reasons for change. Let me back up a bit and tell you a little bit of what was.

The lifestyle was eating me from the inside out. Corrupt and hedonistic, filled with the pleasure we called upon to heighten or dull the senses, whatever the occasion called for. The street, lined with the palaces of our choice. A drink, a dance and pull. This was a period of my life that only added to the years of abuse and experimentation that had gone unchecked. Addiction is a strong and lonely shadow. It moves with you, it stays pasted to the wall beside you, beckoning with a crooked deceit filled smile, calling.

To steal words from Dante's Inferno: "This man has not yet seen his last evening; But, through his madness, was so close to it, That there was hardly time to turn about"

During this time, my spirit carried the weight of disillusionment and despair. It cried out to leave, to rest in a peaceful space. It wanted to leave my body and twice it tried. The out of body experiences proved a willingness at least to end the cycle of horror that was the whole of my experience during this time in my life.

There came a turning point in my life, a decision was made to travel another road, one that would not kill me. A road that junkies do not travel. At one point on this journey I asked a question. I asked the Universe, God, Myself, a question. The answer to that question was simple and immediate, play music.

~The dreams will continue

New CD (LIVE) is stirring ~ Canyou feel it?

Sitting at the desk again. 3 or so in the morning, maybe later.

The train keeps rolling, it just doesn't stop. It has been two months since the band has been together. A well deserved break, really. Still, this boy has been non-stop in bringing the music to you. You will see.

Buddha Pie performed a show at 5 Monkeys in Murray, Utah on November 17, 2008. It was their last show as a full band. It was agreed by the the band member that a short hiatus was needed. And with that, it was taken.

Can you feel the tremble? The energy is building. The music you are hearing now is part of that recording. The CD is to be released at a soon to be announced date. Stay tuned, baby.

I will be in California for the weekend coming. Ah, to see old friends. The work will resume upon my arrival back in Salt Lake City. The work, the music!

Enjoy.

Just a test, no worries...

Ah, so the little box said...
"username not recognized"

Ha, ha haha haaaaa! I'll fix you, box!
Hee hee. What's the matter box, scared? Hmmm.

Yeah, I am going a little nuts... Sunday night, ready for tomorrow another day at the computer...

www.myspace.com/buddhapiemusic for your enjoyment in the meantime, folks.

Ernest

Karma...

There are things that happen unexpectedly, good things. When they come, they come quickly. Grab the chance and run with it. I am running.

I have given, I have taught.
I have struggled, I have fought.

Tonight, I shall receive.
A toast to my friends of old.

Thank you Steve.

A Letter to the Past ~ Old friends and time.

This letter is one written to an old classmate of thirty years and more.

Recently reacquainted via technology.
We found each other floating on the digital sea.

THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE NOT SO INNOCENT.

Hi Char,

Yeah, I keep tryin', no? How have you been all these years? It seems whenever I think of anyone from our old days in school...I can see them in my mind, always smiling.

Couldn't imagine it any other way.

I just spoke to Steve about two hours ago. He sounds good, still lives in San Jacinto. We talked until my batteries died. He's been married for twenty something years now. Me?, I've been married and divorced twice. I still get along with my ex wives, we are friends at least. Thank God for that, nothing worse than a bitter parting. The life I've lived has had all kinds of twists and turns, both for the good and the bad. I hope your life has been a fulfilling one with more happiness than sadness.

We all have a piece of both pies, no? It only hurts because we do it to ourselves, eh?

Do you remember Dale? He, Max and I used to hang quite a bit. What stories we made. Sadly he passed away close to a couple of year ago. It is sad, I can only remember all these people with smiles and young pretty faces. The time passes and as we all meet each other again, I am given to thoughts of our precious time here.

I couldn't tell if you like the music or not. It's okay of course if it's not your style...no offense taken by this boy. I realize the diversity in music and musical tastes. I was made fully aware of the fact when on the way to a show, traveling by taxi over the Brooklyn Bridge, the driver turned back to me and said that "No matter what, "Everybody loves music" I listened to those simple words and realized the truth, that no matter what, there was someone that would listen and enjoy. With that, I have served my purpose, to bring a little sunshine into a dark corner of someone's life, if only for a while.

This band has produced a sound that is close to the time we were in high school... that's what people tell me. I have many more, I released a self produced CD "Near the Edge" It's on iTunes, Napster and all the other sites, played all the instruments myself. It was my first venture with recording and took a year to finish. It keeps me
out of trouble, for sure.

In closing, it is my wish that you are blessed with good health and many blessing of happiness.

Your friend,
Ernest

A letter from the past... 3 Fingers Outted

Tue, 2 May 2006
Yo, Kirby..

I have been asking about how to get your address...Melissa came through, as usual. I hope this letter finds you in happy spirits and good health. I have been in Zion for about two years now...much has happened. I really do miss the city, though.

I heard you weren't working at Artland anymore. Cool. It means change is occurring, usually good. I hope so for your sake. When I do get into the city it would be nice to see you and have a beer or two, or three or four, or five or six or...

I visited Jodi Shaw's site...she has come a long way from the open mic's. I am glad, she deserves every bit of success. I also still have one of your Ixion poster's. I would ask you to sign it for me. If so, I will mail it to you...as long as I get it back!!! I put things like this in frames and hang them on the wall...sentimental bastard that I am. Some time ago I read an web article you wrote. I knew you were/are active in that field as well. Please inform me as to the website you write for, or is it your own? I am interested. I hope you are willing to listen to some music I have produced since I've been SLC. It would be helpful for my promotion....that is, if you like the music. As I remember you always did.

I had a terrible accident last May. I cut off my left index finger (chord hand) in an industrial accident. The whole thing is gone...still, two days later, bandages and all, I purchased a Roland Fantom X6 synthesizer (for all the noise it makes). One week later, with tape measure in hand, I purchased a Martin Acoustic/electric guitar. I made sure it fit my hand, adjusted as it was with only three fingers....fuck.

I never stopped playing, though. I found a way to tune the strings that the "ghost finger" would have pressed. I gained about eighty percent of my set list back...the Roland brought new music out of me. I have performed lots of gigs since then. Some radio airplay and even a little live television spot.

The music in the website www.bandspace.com/buddhapie, was all self produced.

I play all the instruments. and used Drumcore software for the drummer's part. Sonar 5, Reason 3.0 acted as my virtual studio. I am currently looking for a rhythm section to back me in the gigs I have lined up for the summer.

Kirby, I hope you get this and I hope you are smiling. You were always good to me.

Well, enough. When you have time, listen to the music. Enjoy, my brother. Write back with news from Brooklyn. I will let you know when I am in town...perhaps we can shake hands again.

I'll buy the drinks.

Peace

Ernest

Spoiled Rat Bastards!

This: Submitted by my dear friend Melissa.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. Walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning. Uphill. BOTH ways. And I remember promising myself when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and Look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen. Forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster until you died, just like life. Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only m-net And there was no on screen menu and no remote control!

You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! If we wanted Popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
From someone older than you are!

We are a Psychedelic Band, baby.

Psychedelic rock is a style of rock music that attempts to replicate the mind-altering experiences of hallucinogenic drugs.

It emerged during the mid 1960s among garage and folk rock bands in Britain and the United States. Psychedelic rock is a bridge from early blues-based rock to progressive rock and heavy metal, but it also drew on non-Western sources such as Indian music's rāgas and sitars.

The musical style typically features electric guitars, 12 strings being preferred for their 'jangle'; elaborate studio effects - backwards taping, panning (sound placement in the stereo field), phasing, long delay loops and extreme reverb;

A strong keyboard presence, especially Hammond, Farfisa and Vox Organs, the Rhodes electric piano, Harpsichords and the Mellotron (an early tape-driven 'sampler'); a strong emphasis on extended instrumental
solos; modal melodies and surreal, esoterically inspired or whimsical lyrics.

This: From very trusty Wikipedia! Ha ha! Digg this!

I thought of you...

Buddha Pie loves you...

Think not of how, whether in terms of logistics, people, or inspiration, but of the end results you dream of.

The end, in thought, combined with action, in its general direction, will always create the necessary circumstances, serendipities, epiphanies, ideas, and discoveries necessary to bring about the desired manifestation. The hard part is done for you.

Your part is the easy part:
Think and let go. Knock on every door and turn over every stone.
Do not insist upon the path, but upon the overall change you wish to experience, and never take no for an answer.
You can do this. You've been doing it all your life.

You take after me/ The Universe
Peace, Buddha Pie

Fresh from the Oven ~ BLOG PIE

I felt another stirring. A slow and steadier buzz. Light and so far away.

There will be a new posting of a long unattended PODCAST PIE,
you will dig it. Many blessings ~ Ernest

Midnight Oil in Salt Lake City

It is late in the evening. Past midnight, for sure. The hunger I feel keeps pulling at my stomach...small little tugs that remind me of the need. Food. Hmmm.

I need a smoke is what I need. It has been hours. I won't scrape the ashtray...pull the boots on boy, make a run. You know the kind, da kine... It will guide me wrecklessley to the all-nite bodega...

Oh shit, wait...I am not in Brooklyn anymore. Did I say Bodega? Hmmm.

Boot laced and keys in hand, to my favorite all night cigarette shop.

It really doesn't matter if I get a smoke or not, eh? What matters is that I keep plodding towards this goal I have... It is to bring you music.

Many hats. Some fit, some don't. Still, the ones that fit, fit sooo good. You will see. This music will put hair on your eyeballs as a fan once told me. I like that, be careful shaving, dear.

Buddha Pie love you, baby.

Sleeping Dragons

So this new year has begun and a sleeping dragon is about to stir.
I can feel it's heavy breathing becoming erratic.

It needs to play, to stretch and feed it's need.
Be careful to steer clear of it's path, it might roll you down.
Better to climb on its back and fly with the dragon.

You will enjoy the ride. I promise.

Look for our LIVE CD recorded at 5 Monkeys
to be released into the digital sea.

Float, baby, float.
Bob and weave upon the waves of your soul.

Peace, baby. www.myspace.com/buddhapiemusic
Buddha Pie loves you ~ Share

Slow Moving ~ Zen Pie

It just doesn't seem to want to work tonight.

I am ready to accept that.
This creature, Internet. At times a slow moving beast.

I am tired and I work tomorrow, my eyes...heavy
I'll stop by the mirror and listen to what it has to say.

Peace, baby. Ernest
www.buddhapie.com
~.~
Enjoy the music