DREAMS: one (continued)

January 20, 2008
There are dreams that came to me...

The first was a nightmare, repeated many times on the reel that was my sleeping mind.

I will tell you that I was fighting for my, our lives. It started as I entered a barn. Dark was the inside, matted with strewn yellow hay. The slats that made the walls were puckered with holes that let sunlight point it's way in light arrows that landed and speared the floor. The walls, gray and aged wood with every knot loosed.

I walked across the dimly lit barn to find myself standing in front of a staircase. I walked up, slowly. There was a sense of evil in the dream that grew stronger with each step upward. I knew who would be at the top of the staircase waiting.

In Christianity, Satan is considered the being most infested with evil in all of creation. He is the personification of all evil, Louis Cypher. The sense of evil was now beating against me, all I could do was want to rid myself of the feeling. To destroy the man, devil, evil that stood at the top of the stairs waiting for me. They say you can't look God or the Devil in the eye...it must be true. As much as I strained to see into the eyes, the face of the evil in front of me, I could not. I stretched my neck, and pulled my eyes upward only to have them see only to the neck of the demon standing before me.

Strangely, he was not grotesque in form, but rather keenly dressed and in suit of modern day, tailored and neat. I wanted to destroy, to kill, to rid myself, the world and my dream of this entity that embodied and was the source of the evil I felt around me, a heavy, dark and ugly feeling of doom and destruction. Destroyer of souls and lives, keeper of pain, despair, chaos and sadness, I must rid you from my life.

I was sixteen years old at the time this dream came to me. It was a repeated dream that occurred almost nightly for a span of several months. Frame by frame it spun exactly as before. I never purchased a ticket for the viewing, it was mine for free.

~ to be continued

January 28, late evening

I found myself with a weapon in my hand. It was a small hatchet. I need to destroy what was in front of me, perhaps what was inside me, I don't know... even at this early age I was already infused with a crazy life of drugs and abuse. Perhaps this dream represented my need to change, to rid myself of the demon that held me addicted to the lifestyle that was the start of a long slow suicide attempt.

This dream as I've stated above was repeated nightmare and began around the age of 17 yrs or so. With a new means of destroying the evil I raised and swung at the demon. My efforts proved fruitless, as in the script that is written in all nightmares, all my motions were slow. I could not swing with full force to strike the beast, it was as if an invisible arm was holding me from swinging the hatchet with the force needed to strike damage.

I turned to the left and then to the right, I could only see what was in front of me...the same image of evil mocking me. As hard as I tried I could not swing, I could not kill the beast. I ran. I turned to the barn door descended the staircase from the loft and ran.

~ to be continued

Ernest Patrick Paiz